idling in my own thoughts

yesterday after sending hafzi, a KISAS student back to his house, i went home to take some rest. i lie on my bed and began thinking about the recent interview at PoliSAS. and lots of question came into my mind. why didn't i say it? what am i doing? why am i so scared? why can't i just say something more? also, one extreme question, can i do better than that? and i began thinking about it. i know i can do better than that. if there's one more chance to redo all the process onece again, i know it would be a lot better than it was. but there's no second chance. this is not something like taking a driving test or what. it's an interview. it will determine who will get the scholarship and who won't. it will determine who can go furthering their studies oversea or who can't. after few minutes lying there doing nothing and idling in my own thoughts, i gave it a sigh and just let it be. don't think too much. that's what i tell to myself.

after that i got a message from acap, asking me about the interview. da**. i want to forget about all those things and here i got a message asking me about it. i replied him saying that i've done quite ok(it's the truth, not lying). i told him to just forget about the interview. it's passed. we should think about what to do during this couple of months waiting for the result. then he replied, asking me if i want to look for a job. i thought, ya why not. it's not like i got anything better to do. and off we go. i drive the old tiara 1.1gl and he drives his new AUTO kelisa. we met at secret recipe. after salam2 we went to the cake shop, wanted to ask for any vacancy. we had some 'osom' outside the shop to decide who will ask first. luckily i won, so he went on into the shop asking the worker. maybe we had no luck because the shop didn't need any new worker for the time being. so we just leave our names and contact number and the manager said that he would call us if he needs one. not long after that, we tried asking at the starbucks, megalanes, coco brasserie, deli country, 7-11 and even mcdonalds. but none of it even even worked out.

after that we just walks aroung the beach looking at the clean and clear blue sea water. i've just realized that tc's sea water was this blue. maybe it was due to the government who tried so hard to preserve the beach from any unwanted elements. i looked at the sky and saw it shimmering with the sun was just about to sunk into the sea. isn't it good if everyone's life was as beautiful as the scenery. if only life was a lot more simpler. nonetheless, we spent about half an hour there sitting and talking and eating and did some 'cuci mata'. yup, 'cuci mata' i would say it. i think you could understand even if i didn't say what it is.