Lorekan

Buah kelapa sawit sebelum diproses. Sebagai tanda membuka lembaran baru.

Sudah lama tidak menulis. Hati ini kian rindu hendak melorek sesuatu di balik lembaran putih yang terpampang luas buat tatapan umum ini. Namun apakan daya, menulis menggunakan papan-taip manakan sama seperti menulis menggunakan pena. Perasaannya berbeza. Apa yang sering dibelek-belek hanyalah kitaran yang sama diubahsuai berulang kali. Tiada penambahan baru. Tiada peningkatan intelek. Tiada isi, tiada kandungan.

Biarlah tulisan ini menjadi pembuka buat tahun ini. Biarlah tulisan ini mahupun lambat, menjadi perasmi di laman sesawang ini.

Ku pasang cita-cita baru. Biar yang lama kita simpan jadi pekasam. Bukan pekasam tak disingkap. Tapi pekasam yang makin lama kita simpan, makin sedap jadinya. Lalu setelah beberapa ketika, kita ungkap kembali, kita belek dan kita lihat. Mungkin pada masa itu, lebih sedap rasa dan perasaannya.

Yang baru pula kita asah biar jadi impian. Impian yang boleh dinyatakan. Bukan sekadar impian dalam mimpi. Itu impian mat jenin. Yang ini kita pasang sekadar mampu. Asahan demi asahan lama-lama tajam mata yang tumpul. Kelak boleh kita berdiri tegap, dada membidang, apabila asahan yang kita kerjakan, membuahkan hasil yang kita impikan.

Biar di sini saja ku hentikan lorekan pertama ku. Ku risau orang yang membaca kian curiga dengan apa yang ku fikir. Inilah hasil tulisan orang tidak berseni. Jangan di hina, jangan di maki. Semua kritikan, simpan lah sendiri.

Space

The sky was cloudy that day. I was walking back from hospital, along my usual route. As I make a turn at a curb, just two junctions away from my house, I saw a young boy, just got out of his house. He was wearing a glove in his left hand. And he's wearing that mask baseball players usually wear during a game. On his right hand, he was carrying some sort of small cones.

As he walked out of the house, he went to every corner of the small garden on his front yard. He laid down those small cones every time he stops. One after another, until it finally looked like a border all around the small garden of his.

There was no particular reason for me to be amazed by this young boy's action. But there must be something more to it, that I stopped in my tracks, even for a short moment, and turned my head to get a clearer look at this young boy. Yet, it was very brief, for I was afraid the neighbours might saw me and thought I'm a paedophile. Which of course, I'm not.

Within that brief moment, a thought popped up in my head. Or rather, a memory that has long faded away, suddenly came back, with some questions.

"How can he play baseball in that small garden? There's no space at all!"

And this brings me back to 17 years ago.

----------

I'm at my house in Malaysia. The place where I grew up as a child. The home where I learn about the world.

I looked through the window and saw my older brother outside. I looked around and realized that I was getting ready myself. I got out of the house and my brother was waiting with a football underneath his right leg.

It's our usual evening activity, playing soccer outside our house, on that cemented floor. We have the house gates as our goals and the whole floor as our playground. Anything beyond the cemented floor is considered 'outside'.

It wasn't very big. The space to move around was limited. Because of that, we had to use all our skills to dribble the ball pass our opponent. We turned and twisted. We shielded the ball and we did whatever technique known to us, to score the goal. I was always at the losing end. My brother used the advantage of having the bigger physique to full use.

Nevertheless, the space was enough for us to reach the goal. And more importantly, we had fun. At the end of it, we both carved a smile on our faces. The ones you see on someone truly satisfied. The type that make others smile with you.

----------

I was walking towards my house, after a brief distraction earlier. This time, my head was filled with answers to my own question. Subconsciously, I delved further to grasp the deeper meaning of that thought. It's always been my thing. To over-think things.

Finally, I settled with the idea that space, is something everyone needs. How big it is, depends on the baggage that someone is carrying. And as we grow older, the more baggage we're carrying. We want space for each of our desires. We need space for all our responsibilities. The space to breath. The space to relax. Our very own space.

But space is not something we easily get.

Just like the sky is not within our reach, the space beyond it is even far. 

And those who make do with whatever space they have, will be the one who reach their goals. They will be the one who carved  a smile on their face. Just like 17 years ago.

Lessons on Road Safety

Dear Malaysians,

     There's a reason why people put traffic lights. And there's reasons why there are three different colours to the lights. Green means you're safe to go. Yellow means slow down your vehicle and get ready to stop. Red, my fellow Malaysians, means STOP. Get that. And you'll be safe.

Dear Malaysians,

     There's a reason why there's two lanes going opposite directions prepared. But if you're going to make your own lanes and go against the flow, do not blame others when you're hit by a car. It's pretty obvious, yet you live in your own world. Or perhaps you own the road. Just because you pay road taxes doesn't give you the rights to do so. Other people also pay the same thing and they still know how to follow the rules.

Dear Malaysians,

    It's basic lesson to let those from your right to go first if you're at a round about. The term's called 'courtesy'. Even on the road there's courtesy. But I assume since you don't even have that, needless for me to figure out your courtesy level with other people. No wonder Malaysia was placed so terribly in one of the surveys conducted to see how well-mannered Malaysians are in public.

Dear Malaysians,

     The reason for writing all these isn't to criticize. I'm a Malaysian myself and no, I did not do all of the above i.e speeding when it's red light, driving against the traffic flow, going first at the round about even when there's another vehicle on my right. Instead, I hope this writing will create some awareness that you're not alone on the road. There's other users besides you who expect you to follow the rules and regulations, just as they do. But if you don't, it's not their job to give you tickets, scold you or do anything. It's the police. Traffic police. So don't worry, we won't stop you from doing what you're doing. We'll probably just snap a photo, send it to The Star and receive RM50 if it gets featured in that interesting photos section. All thanks to you.

Dear Malaysians.

Dakwah/Da'wah

"With the name of Allah The Almighty, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful."

As the topic goes, my post this time will be on dakwah or da'wah as per Arabic spelling. What does that mean? It simply means calling to Islam or in a more elaborate explanation, educating, explaining through various means to our non-Muslims friends about our (Muslims) practices, beliefs and faith.

I cannot say I am worthy to perform such important responsibility, what's with my limited and inadequate knowledge on the matter at hand. But I believe what I have practised and carry out ever since I was born were right and that they were following the orders and words of the last messenger, our beloved Prophet Muhammad S.A.W.

It might not be entirely similar. Heck, it might be totally different. But that's why they say, Islam is the way of life. It transcends the trials and tribulations of time. Even after 1400 years after the first verse was read to the Prophet, Islam teaches the same values, the same practices, the same, 'way of life'. But never in any way, was it mentioned in the Quran how the values and practices are to be carried out. The only information provided is the guideline. And guidelines can be interpreted differently by different people.

An analogy; you see a non-smoking sign in a building. Many will interpret it as 'you're not allowed to smoke in the building'. That's what the general consensus would be. But did the sign wrote, no smoking in the building? Is it the whole building, even the balcony on the second floor, with very good airflow? The balcony is outside of the building, but its still part of it. You can smoke there, can't you?

There will also be some people who regardless of the sign, go against it or they created a thinking around it. Instead of interpreting it as no smoking in the building, they go with no smoking in the area where the sign is. So, technically, if they smoke in the toilet where there's no sign, or anywhere where the sign isn't put up, its not wrong is it?

The same goes with Islam. We were told to follow the Quran and the Hadith, in the Prophet's last message to his ummah before his last breath. By doing so, we will be saved, in the world and the hereafter. Still, Quran itself is not an easy scriptures to interpret. Reading the Quran isn't as simple as picking up any book where you read it once and you can understand it straight away. Even scholars sometime have difficulties to understand what exactly the verses in the Quran are trying to deliver.

That's why we have 4 different mazhabs. I'm not entirely sure how to explain the mazhabs, but to make it simple, the mazhabs are basically compilation of methods or ways of practicing Islam that has been proven to be the closest or the most similar to the practices during the time of the Prophet. Note my words, 'the closest', 'the most similar'. Its not exactly the same but nevertheless, the practices are all acceptable as they all follow the guideline as outlined in the Quran and Hadith.

Going back to the main topic, da'wah. I'm not in a position to say I can go up to people and educate them about Islam, not about anything beyond what I've learnt and practised. But if the non-Muslims inquire about things I believe I understood and have lived by it for the past 22 years, I am more than happy to explain, based on my own understanding. Yes, with references to proper evidence and examples.

One thing I always have to tell myself when explaining. Da'wah is not an easy thing. They will have plenty of questions, some of which I don't know the answer to. Some I might not even heard of before. Others might be very discriminative and biased that you felt like giving up or become angry. If you follow your heart, you'll get nothing. You'll end up arguing, but you reach nowhere.

Therefore, whenever I'm explaining about things, especially sensitive things like my faith, I told myself to be patient, listen and understand, explain carefully and properly, answer all their questions. Do not let them get to you. Cause once you do, you've lost. It's not just a matter of making them understand, but it's a matter of how much do we understand our own faith that we can explain it to others who have no prior knowledge whatsoever. It's a test for our own faith. Our Iman.

Remember this my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters. Whenever you're in trouble or having a huge problem, bear in mind, there is no trouble or problem, bigger than the passing of our beloved Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. For he was the last messenger of God.

Gear in Reverse, or N?

I'm currently reading 'The Malaysian Way of Life' by Julian C. H. Lee and now is on the politics section of the book. Rather than delving straight into the flaws of Malaysian politics, the author for each articles within the politics section who are mostly anthropologist used a twist of wider analogy to explain about how things are presently in regards to the political scene and the effects of past years' decisions on the current scenario.

Among the thing I recalled from the articles was how theme parks in Malaysia were made to feature the country as a multi-ethnic, multi-cultural society but if we dig deeper into these theme parks we are to discover how it's mostly made to represent the major ethnic in Malaysia. Not that I'm being bias or betraying my own race, but to showcase our own country's cultural values to the foreigners, we must have equal proportions of display that exhibits and represents the whole country's citizens and if a thorough and proper planning were made prior to the building of these theme parks, it would eventually manage to bring that equal distribution into play and henceforth provide a stronger and more solid foundation for multi-cultural integration between the now increasingly apparent disparity among Malaysians of different races.

Another article touched specifically on the post title which revolves around the policies and development plans that have been devised to help move the country towards a developed nation. Since our forefathers, the government and private sectors have made plenty of plans which were supposed to ensure we are on the right track towards achieving a developed country and making sure the country becomes the home to its citizens. But these plans did not come without flaws. Perhaps it was because these plans that we're still in the third world mentality and the person behind the creation of these plans should have thought carefully on the proper and suitable execution measures to ensure that the objectives of each and every single one of these plans are delivered.

What were the problems with the plans and policies? Since our post-'Merdeka' days, policies like New Economic Policy, Wawasan 2020, National Integrity Plan, and now New Economic Model alongside GTP and ETP, have all been created with specific objectives and intended outcomes that aims for the betterment of Malaysia and Malaysians. Much like the people in KL who lives on the present days, moving at a fast pace that everything seems to be auto-regulated, these plans were carried out and keep on living in the present. There were no deadline or measures of whether the objectives were achieved. The problems lies in the plan itself whereby the strategies to get the outcomes became entangled with the purpose of devising the plans in the first place. This was the result of a research done by an anthropologist which looked into the National Integrity Plan. When these plans and policies were announced, it promises a future Malaysia which is modern, harmony, safe and developed, partly reflecting its people which by that time should already have the country deeply embedded in their hearts.

But Malaysia has become so experts at making plans that when the time comes to deliver them, it became an infinite execution of a never-ending road into the abyss. After the launching of these development strategies, we have the picture of future Malaysia in mind, but we're stuck with the present Malaysia in reality. When we hit a brick wall, we devise more plans and strategies to overcome it yet again the same thing happens like a never ending cycle.

To put it in simple terms, we put our gears, which drives the country into the N position, or perhaps its already in the R mode. In order to put a stop to these cycles, a careful and thorough plan that incorporates both the aims and achievable measures of delivery must be devised. The plan must take into account the whole aspect of present situation and methods of sequential improvements while performing intermittent efficacy measure when the plan is actually carried out. At the end of the day, then only we can say we've achieved what we want from the plan. Then only we're moving closer to that dreamed future Malaysia.

Bisikan Hati 6: Changes

"Changes don't come overnight. But changes don't come at all without effort. If you want to change something, be part of that something. Work your a**-off and make changes come. I'm furious. But I'm furious in a good sense."

Ps: My prayers are with the Japanese people, be it the locals, or foreigners living there. May He guide them through these hard times.

The Notebook

It could just be a plain notebook where I jot down all my notes. Or it could be a diary where I wrote down everything that happened in the past. Or it could also be a love story, one that moves others' hearts, one that reminds you of all the things you did. All the small things, even the insignificant ones.

A notebook can be many different things in different hands. But I remember The Notebook as one of my favourite films I ever watched. I believe many do too.

Love takes many different forms and you express it through your own unique way. A father hitting a son can be due to love, a husband embracing his wife can be a form of love or a dog wagging its tail seeing the owner can also be another form of love. It doesn't matter how you show it, for as long as the person you show it to sense it and they know, what you mean is love.

In conjunction with this Eid-Ul Adha, I wish everyone a happy eid celebration. 'Selamat Hari Raya' or as I recently learnt, 'Takabbalallah hu minna wa minkum'. Let us spread our love during this eid, be it love to Allah the Almighty, the prophet Muhammad pbuh, our family and friends or even to a stranger we came across the street. It is a day of sacrifice, but let us sacrifice with our hearts by sharing them with everyone, even a tiny bit.

When Politics Went Wrong

Correct me i'm wrong, but I thought, politicians are supposed to be the voice of the people. Why? Isn't politicians got where they are today because they are chosen by the people? Didn't they contest in the elections, against many other politicians alike, to represent the majority of the people's voice? That's why when they won, they will have the ability and the say to empower what the people's want. They can bring forth to the government and express the people's need and what they require.

But I think politics in Malaysia is somewhat the other way round. It's not that the people voted because they want to choose the very best candidate to represent them. Instead, its the candidates that goes out to them and offer them what they want. And when the politicians rose to win against their competitors, what happened to all those offers? What happened to the people's voice?

I haven't read the news for quite some time. When I read it today, I find it very saddening for the fact that all these politicians, they argued not because they want to deliver what the people have entrusted to them. But they argued because they BELIEVED that they have been chosen to deliver what they THINK the people want. Why don't you go out and meet with those people who voted for you, ask them what changes do they want and what are their expectations from you. If it is truly the same as what you've been fighting for, then go ahead, continue with your actions, your voices because that's what the people expect you to do. But if its not, then what should you do? Step down and make way for other candidates who actually represent the people's voice?

No, that is not the appropriate way to go.

First, why don't you accept the fact that you've been struggling for the wrong things all these while. People make mistakes, no matter how big a position you hold and how many supporters you have. People will ALWAYS make mistakes. But through this mistakes that we learn to grow by reflecting and not repeating them.

Secondly, try to fix all the wrong things you've done. Instead of saying what you THINK is the people's voice, began saying what REALLY is the people's voice! And then follow that up with actions, progress and finally deliver it to those people whom you owe them because they've sacrificed their time and energy to vote for you.

You might receive enormous challenges, criticism and plenty of obstacles, hardships along the way. You may see your name often comes out in the news because of the voice you brought with you. But rest assured, if what you do is FOR the PEOPLE and not for YOU, I believe you will prevail in the end. 

Imagine we have 26M people living in Malaysia, and out of that, only a small fraction goes on to become politicians. And if you do things for the sake of those 26M people instead of the small group of politicians, I think you should know the answer using simple maths.

So please, stop publishing all this arguments on who should be what and what should have been done when it already happened. Think of solutions on how you can provide the best for those people you're representing. Only then, I believe, we'll see some changes. Only then, I believe, Malaysia is truly the place to live in for ALL Malaysians. Isn't that what we all want?

'10 Tahun Sebelum Merdeka, 53 Tahun Selepas Merdeka'

While the video is still fresh in my memory, I thought I'd pour everything I had in my mind while viewing the short film '10 Tahun Sebelum Merdeka' here.

Back in high school, we were taught how the people of Malaya gained independence from the British government through negotiations, discussions and agreements between both political parties representing the people and the British administration. While watching, I remembered having learnt about 'Malayan Union', 'Perlembagaan Rakyat' and 'Perlembagaan Persekutuan Tanah Melayu 1948'. But little did I know about the movement of the PUTERA-AMCJA through their proposal of 'People's Federation'. And soon after the 1948 constitution was enforced, we were taught about the uprising of the Communists and how the British government captured those thought to be involved with the movement.

The video however, portrayed the 'Anti-Communists' operation merely as a front face to cover the hidden agenda behind it, to suppress and limit the liberation of the people of Malaya. In school, we were taught everything about one side of the people's movement, that is from the right wing perspective. Although we were given insight on the left wing perspective towards independence, they were not absolutely true and bias and deviations from facts were unavoidable. This video merely showed what the left wing parties, 10 years before we achieved our independence were trying to do.

After finishing the film, I wondered, "Did we get off on the wrong foot?". "Did we built a wrong foundation for our lovely country?". "What would happened it things were to go along with People's Federation' back in 1947?". According to the video, 'Perlembagaan Rakyat receives enormous support from people all over Malaya at that time, and in accordance with the protest against the British decision to neglect the people's voice and proceed with the 1948 federation, the Hartal rally/movement was introduced. If back then we already gained '1 Malaya', we wouldn't have to go through the troubles to achieve it now, when we have plenty other things we can focus on.

Nevertheless, all that happened 60 years ago, before we achieved our independence. History cannot be re-written, but it can serve as a reference for us not to repeat what we did wrong in the past. These times are crucial moments for us young generation of our country. The next 10 to 15 years will determine the shape and direction of our future Malaysia. The Malaysian youth today are often poised as the future leaders of the country, ever since we begin our education until we reach the age for liberty. Will we remain a country, separated by racial differences, spoken language, cultural diversities or will we become a country united by our similar history, passion and love for the country and the future Malaysia we intend to build?

I don't want to sit idle by while these changes take place. I want to be among the small units contributing to these changes, shaping it the way it ideally should be for every Malaysians. I want to help construct the better future Malaysia for all my fellow countrymen and women to live in. But I cannot do this all alone. Can we achieve what we once had 10 years before our independence?

A Word On Love

Love is something so beautiful no other words can be used to describe it except love.

Loving someone doesn't mean you'll always end up together with the person you love.

Being in love is like being in a good dream. You never want to wake up.

Having a love affair can get you into trouble. If you're married that is.

Love needs no explanation. Any made will only be an understatement.

So, will you love me?

Once again I'm thrilled by foreign culture. This time its the middle east. Including this one, there's about 4 or 5 movies that captured my interest, purely because of the location that the movie took place. Previously, it was Lila says. Before that, Vicky, Cristina Barcelona. Quite recently, there was Paris, je t'aime. And now this.

How lovely if Malaysia also has movies such as these. Surely, with the multi-culture varieties we have back in the country, we'll be able to produce even better movie cinematography that portrays the practices of such cultures in our daily lives as a Malaysian.

2010/2011

A week ago, we begin our days with a full blown comeback win over a prominent club in our league.

Yesterday, we received the recognition we worked so hard for in the previous struggle for triumph.

Today, we faced our first obstacle, our first defeat even before we begin our next season-long journey in search of the previous glory.

In battle, there can only be two outcomes. You either win or lose. And we've experienced both in such short period.

Plenty needs to be done before our general can fully blends in with the troops. People looked forward on another winning game, but the previous general had the bar set a tad too high. 

In two days time, we'll once again wield our honed skills and tactics for yet another season-long battle.

While some others might have lost hope, mine remains and I believe we can win this war.

Forza!

A Change

After almost 2 or maybe 3 years, I finally decided that I needed a new look. People changes through time and only through changes that we can move forward. I can't recall how many times have I switched the template. Sometimes, I probed the codes myself, editing here and there until I am satisfied. I admit, I love playing with html. But even the web moves forward. Now, xml has taken place. So I've decided to leave the coding to experts. I tried probing again, but I reached a lost cause. It's too complicated. Nevertheless, it won't stop me from keep on posting new updates. As I've written before, these materials I've put on the web were words I produced in my mind. And it would be good to look back at how you were thinking back then, when you're still young. It shows how much you've matured since. This new exterior is just a reflection of how I've grown. Changes will keep on happening, for as long as I'm still learning.

Indeed, a change is what I need.

Twitter

Twitter down due to failed move on timeline caching, says firm - The Malaysian Insider

If twitter cease to operate, will blogging begin to escalate?

A Friendly Reminder

Don't thank me but thank Allah S.W.T for He has answered your prayer though you didn't ask for it or without realizing it. Say Alhamdulillah.

A friend of mine sent me this message, which left me embarrassed and thankful at the same time for he reminded me of what I forgot but which I shouldn't. Most of the time, we took for granted in what was given to us or what we achieved, without ever trying to express our gratitude to the person who gave it to us, or those who helped us get what we have today. By doing so, we assume that we deserve everything because we have put in so much effort in the beginning. As the saying goes, 'You reap what you sow.'

There's no doubt that it's true, but we tend to forget that we became what we are today also because of the people around us. And most importantly, we will never reap anything if He does not want us to. For every success and failure we made, there's a hidden message beneath them and we should be grateful for it. 

Thank you Iinul for reminding me. May this prompt me to praise Him more often, InsyaAllah.

Time Travel

If I can turn back time, I will repeat all my mistakes, but this time I will learn from them.

The 100th Post

At a certain point in your life, probably when too much of it has gone by, you will open your eyes, and see yourself for who you are, especially for everything that made you so different, from all the awful normals. And you will say to yourself, "But I am this person." And in that statement, that correction, there will be a kind of love.              -Miss Dodger, Phoebe in Wonderland

The words struck me deeply. So deep that I want to remember it, then I can remind myself when I do things out of norm.

Kick-Ass

How far would you go to maintain justice? If you see someone was mugged, what would you do? Ask the question to anyone, and almost everyone would come up with the same answer you initially had in mind. 

The movie Kick-Ass delivers more than just comedy, fun and action. It delivers subtle message of being a hero in the public eye, in whatever way we're capable of. Perhaps the protagonist in the movie went way out of his league to suddenly jump into the world of crime fighting but that's his method of doing things. Last Saturday while on my way back to the train station in Melbourne Central, i saw another heroic act, right in front of my eyes, by a girl younger than me, but definitely stronger inside.

I was walking by the retail shops in the building when a group of boys, perhaps aged 13-14 walked past me and out of the blue, one of them grab hold of a young Chinese girl's phone while she was texting. Amidst the confusion and fear, the Chinese girl was then bumped by the boy's friend for no reason. One could imagine what the girl was feeling at that time: alone, afraid and vulnerable. I was shocked by the scene and it happened so fast that i was left dumbfounded. Suddenly, another local girl who was walking next to me called out for the boys. I didn't stay to see what she did to them, but i remained long enough to saw she scolded them for their misbehaviour. Deep inside i heard myself saying, 'Good going girl!'

Apart from the girl, there were plenty other people around that could have done what she did, but they didn't. Probably they were like me, too shocked until they can't do anything, or rather they simply decided not to get involve since it's not their business. Like the old saying, 'Mind your own business'.

People, you can be a hero with your own way, be it direct confrontation, or hiding under a mask, but what's important is you step up when you see something is not right.

Please, we need a lot of Kick-Ass(es) against Zionism in Palestine.

Emotions

Human emotions can be so overwhelming sometimes. Even after watching a movie, surely there's someone out there who drop tears because the ending was too sad, or the whole movie touched them deeply. I for one is easily affected by movie, although i can tell that whatever happened in a movie, there's high chances it won't happen in reality.

But it's good that we at least have emotions, and we are given limbs, face and plenty other attributes to express what we're feeling. We smile, we laugh and we sing (sometimes - me?) whenever we feel happy. Or we cry, we throw a tantrum and we curse whenever we're sad or angry. All these behaviour are directly influenced by what we're feeling at that time.

One thing that interest me is what we're feeling will eventually affect the people around us. I don't know how that happens, but i read somewhere that human brains actually send out a unique wave every time we think of something. Probably happy people send out happy thought subconsciously to those around them, and as result, everyone feels happy, for no particular reason.

A quote i learned in one of my tutes, "You don't have to go and find joy, because the joy is within you." What does that means? I assumed it says, to be happy, you don't have to go and search for it. You will always feel happy, whenever you start feeling good about yourself. All that important is YOU.

At the moment, i miss my mum. Today, everywhere i go, i saw the word mum and mother. I just realized yesterday, that today is actually Mother's Day. I've never been a big fan of mother's day celebration and all. But like i've explained before, seeing all those wishes, families enjoying dinner celebrating their mother and the whole atmosphere around me, i just wished i'm back home with my mum, wishing her well and happiness on this special day. Alas that will not be possible, as we stay in different parts of the world. For that, i hope, whenever she comes across this small life story page of mine, she'll read my wish to her and smile, cause there's nothing else i'll ask for except her happiness.

'Mak, happy mother's day! 

Thank you for all the years you looked after me and endured all my whims. I know i stepped over my limits sometimes, and yet, you never stopped caring for me. Please, bear with me some more, until one day, i'll be able to look after you.'

When people go astray

Sometimes people can be like grass. They follow the course of the wind blowing.  When the wind is strong the grass moves further away. When it blows softly, the grass stays firm at its place. But one thing kept the grass on the ground. And that's the roots. The roots may seem unimportant, but they are the most vital elements of the grass. If the grass go astray, look back to the roots and it might change everything.

I may not be perfect. But i try to be. If i do wrong, tell me. But if i do good, keep it to yourself.

21032010

a few days ago i received an email from blogspot, saying i received a new comment on my blog post. it was from an old friend of mine, which i haven't seen in many years. probably ever since we left our secondary school. it was there that i first met him. we were in the same class. he was sitting right in front of me. and to top it all, he was a physics genius. physics, one of the subjects i don't favour much. nevertheless, he left a comment asking me to update my blog. and he was right, it's been a month since i did that.

so here i am, writing a post which i can't think of a title, hence explains the numbers that i put above. i read an article long time ago, that the best words, writings or whatever that you want to say comes from the heart. but will it still be 'best' if the heart is contaminated? is it going to be nice if the heart is rotten, black, full of hatred and anger?

i am now on the verge of a turning point. i'm sitting on a fence that separates good from evil. even i don't know since when have i turned this way. but people said i have. and that leaves me confused, with one question keeps popping in my mind, at which point of my life, have i turned bad?

i don't know if any of the crime doers out there have actually came across the same question, but wouldn't it be good if they did? at least that shows they still have some conscience in them.

for now, i will keep asking that question from time to time. until i reach a certain point, where i'm sure whether i have crossed that fence, into the evil side, or even better, back into the good one.

in another story, i'm currently in a good mood. good because my favourite team, Inter made it into the quarter finals of CL. and to make it better, we'll meet Moscow in the round. i won't say anything yet as of now, cause things can turn for the worst anytime, though i read everywhere that it would be an advantage to the Nerazzurri. to Inter, please make this season the best one. make your way into the final, win the Italian Cup, and more than ever, please please retain the League title. that's all i hope from you. and i will be more than grateful if this wish is granted.

last but not least, lately i feel like expressing myself in a different way. at the moment, i feel like writing a poem. what poem, that i'm not entirely sure. but i've at least came up with a title. it's called 'Aku dan Alam'. and just to make things clear, Alam is not a guy. hopefully i'll get more inspiration to actually write it.

i guess that's all for now. and i'm off to sleep. 'Selamat malam Dunia'.