Stop, It's Break Time

Ever since i came back to Melbourne to continue my study, i think i've been living in a life so fast that i didn't even glimpse back to check whether i should take a rest. 

Upon my arrival at the infamous Tullamarine airport, i straight away attended my first class at uni, along with another of my colleague who was kind enough to fetch me. The 8 hours flight from Malaysia was definitely exhausting because during that first day of orientation, i fell asleep amidst the important lecture being held in C1. As a result, i woke up feeling a sense of lost, not knowing what i should do, where to go, etc. 

Probably the main reason i was feeling so tired is due to the flight condition. At least that's what i've came to blame with for feeling asleep. It wasn't all that bad. The service was definitely tiptop. They have some of the sexiest stewardess with a full clothes on. The food was good and the toilet, well i went there for quite a few times so no complaint about that. However, the seat. Oh God, only You know what i felt at that time.

Enough about the flight.

After that lecture, i straight away went back home after getting all the important study materials from CHMSE. If you don't know what that stands for, don't look it up. You'll probably end up with something related to chemistry which is totally wrong. Afterwards, well there's nothing else i could do besides getting back all those comfy sleeps i've lost.

And the came the rest of the transition week, followed by the first study week of the year. At first, the transition week was still alright, i guess. At least i could have some rest and came to the first few lectures whenever i want. But then begins the hard part. When you've started hospital attachment, you go by the hospital rules. And in the hospital, if you're late, you could lose a patient. But putting it in a student-wise context, if you're late, you lost the opportunity to learn. There's plenty to learn, but the time limits the amount. In the end, it's all up to your own effort. Which i'm not very good at.

Fortunately i was paired with this very good friend who owns a car and he happened to pass by my house everytime he's going to the hospital, hence he picked me up every morning. So yeah, as of Monday this week, i've been going to the hospital at the earliest 7.30 in the morning and the latest being 8.40am. My point is, i don't get enough sleep! At the end of each day, i went back home only to feel so tired that i fell asleep and that costs me my studying time.

At the hospital, what did i do? Basically wandering around getting used to the new environment, meeting patients, taking history, observe some procedures and plenty others. But i don't have a clue as to what purpose did i do all these things! I'm learning i guess. At least i think i am.

Meanwhile, during this period of two weeks, i've noticed for quite a while that i haven't had a single break at all from all the learning processes. I am determined to change this year. I wanted to learn more. I wanted to become competent in my studies. To the extent that hopefully i am able to be at par with my other colleagues. And in my effort to achieve that, i have been constantly forcing myself to study. Sometimes, even when it's not my time to turn up at the hospital, yet i still did and spent a lot of time staying there, but not doing anything. 

I don't know whether this weird sense i've been having in my head recently is a burnout or not. But i'm pretty sure that i'm on my way there. And if i didn't do anything about that, i might end up in a nasty situation. 

Maybe this is more like a reminder to myself, but to everyone out there who's been living your life without looking back or slowing down a bit, hopefully you'll take a deep breath, and just think to yourself,

'Maybe I should STOP. It's Break Time.'

You have a future to catch, but that future won't matter anymore if you can't live it.